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By Aaron Schwartz Sexual Harassment is a form of sexual discrimination. It is defined as unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal and physical conduct of a sexual nature. Some examples of sexual conduct are: sexual advances, touching of sexual nature, displaying or distributing pictures, drawings, written materials, which are sexually explicit, sexual gestures, dirty jokes, pressure for sexual favors, touching oneself sexually or talking about somebodys sexual activity in front of other people. Sexual harassment may occur in different kinds of circumstances. Both the victim and the harasser may be a woman as well as a man and the victim is not always of the opposite sex. The harasser may be an employer of a person, supervisor in some other area or a co-worker or a strange person. A person can be just affected by some kind of offensive conduct, but this conduct must be unwelcome. History of sexual harassment begins in 1964, when Congress passed Title VII of the Civil Rights Act and created Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Many things have changed since those times, but the facts of the matter are almost the same. Rather obvious is usually such form of sexual harassment, like quid pro quo, it includes some beneficial condition of employment with an employees submission to some sexual advances. For example a supervise can promise an employee a raise if she goes on a date with him or even make her leave the work place if she doesnt agree to go to bed with him. According to EEOCs regulations, theres another kind of harassment at work place hostile environment harassment. This kind of sexual harassment is usually created by one of the workers by providing some unwelcome sexual materials: posters of sexual nature, cartoons, or even some kinds of unwelcome physical contact, like for example unwanted touching and so on. There are certain ways for showing that the sexual conduct in not welcome and not wanted: by avoiding the harasser, telling friends and family about harassment, telling the harasser or other co-workers about it, showing no encouragement for such conduct. Employers must do their best to prevent sexual harassment at the work place, they should draft anti-sexual harassment policy, implement certain procedure for the workers, who feel they are the victims of sexual harassment. At any rate, prevention is the best tool to avoid sexual harassment at work place. Harassment can also be a serious problem in education at all levels, at elementary and secondary schools, as well at colleges and universities. It can affect any student, regardless of school, age, sex and race, and it of course influences moral state of the student and his/her ability to do well. According to several national studies and reports, 85 % of girls and 76 % of boys experience sexual harassment at their schools. School should never accept or tolerate or ignore sexual harassment and should build some policies to minimize, if not to avoid completely the possibility of it. Dissertation writing Custom Essays Term paper Overall, taking into account human emotions and observations and stereotypes it is rather difficult sometimes to differentiate human romance from sexual harassment, but supervises at work, teachers and head masters at schools are to take all possible steps to avoid all kinds of sexual abuses and make sure that all the workers/students feel safe and are concentrated on the things the are doing and not depressed and affected because of somebodys sexual conduct. Aaron is a professional freelance writer at custom essays writing service: custom-essay.netHe is also a technical writer, advertising copywriter, & website copywriter for Custom Essay Writing Service. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Aaron_Schwartz http://EzineArticles.com/?Sexual-Discrimination&id=447436 will negative credit repair after 7 years how to get chapter 11 removed from credit report dallas bad credit used car loan colorado credit report

By L Hayes Though eloping is much cheaper and more hassle-free, it lacks the trimmings that make traditional weddings memorable. So, whether you’re getting married for the first time or celebrating your golden wedding anniversary, here are some tips for a truly orderly and beautiful occasion. 1. Prepare at least six months ahead of time. Not only are you able to secure the reception locations (hotels and churches) you want, this gives you time to save money in case you and your spouse-to-be are footing the bill. Your favorite priest or minister must also be informed early. 2. Make a budget. How much are you or your family willing to spend for the wedding? Whatever your resources, it’s just a question of fitting in everyone and everything into it. Call for the prices of hotels, food, cakes, music, flowers, photography and video services, gowns and tuxedos (for the wedding attendants) and the honeymoon. Add up the prices for a ballpark estimate of the final cost. If it’s beyond your budget, then start whittling down your guest list, the number of wedding attendants and other accoutrements. 3. Choose wedding participants who are dependable. You don’t want a ring-bearer who can hardly walk yet, or a bridesmaid who has gained 100 pounds since the bridal fittings and will not fit into the gown you just ordered! What about a niece who is in charge of the seating arrangements but doesn’t show up until dinner’s over? Such things can irritate everyone during the ceremony. 4. Fittings and practices are a must. Better to risk that old superstition about fitting your own gown bringing bad luck than to walk down the aisle with your dress falling off your shoulders or cutting off your circulation. Similarly, rehearsals for the wedding entourage are necessary so that each member knows what he or she is expected to do throughout the whole ceremony. The choir, especially if they are all children, should also be rehearsed. This sort of preparation gives you an overall sense of how the ceremony will go. 5. You and your future spouse can have special readings for the ceremony. Find out each other’s favorite passages and have relatives or friends with clear voices deliver them. Registering your wedding in department stores and choosing wedding favors are also activities that both of you should do. 6. Go to several make-up artists and hair stylists before choosing one. Try different hair styles and make-up. See which one makes you look absolutely beautiful. 7. Have your wedding photos taken before the wedding ceremony takes place. These pictures will look more candid and natural because your hair is still intact, your lipstick not smeared and you don’t have hundreds of other eyes staring at you. 8. Type out a schedule for important members of your wedding party, jotting down the following information: dates to remember (rehearsal dates, bridal showers, fittings, etc.), roles and responsibilities of each one before and during the wedding and timing sequence. 9. While it is normal to get excited and stressed out, drop everything on the eve of the wedding and have a good night’s sleep. If the wedding planning isn’t done by then, there is nothing you can do about it. You must look fresh on your wedding day. No bags around the eyes. It’s not a time to cry, either! 10. Send “Thank you” notes or small favors to everyone who helped make your wedding a very special day. Don’t forget your parents. They need to be reminded that they haven’t lost a child, they’ve gained another one (and maybe grandchildren, too)! In the end, some things may not work out as planned. Don’t worry about it. Your guests will probably not notice the mistakes. It is not enough to ruin your day. Besides, you can make it up on your silver wedding anniversary! L Hayes is a wedding professional and owner of Wedding Favors Emporium. They carry an extensive line of unique wedding favors as well as bridesmaid gifts, groomsmen gifts, and bridal shower gifts. For more information about wedding planning and wedding reception ideas, visit their website at: WeddingFavorsEmporium.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=L_Hayes http://EzineArticles.com/?10-Tips-For-A-Well-Planned-Wedding&id=498022 credit score for free without entering credit card information bad credit loan loans with bad credit aaa credit repair

By Rick Parrott Ciudad Juarez, Mexico. Today after three years of frustration my wife received her VISA. Before starting this odyssey, I thought people who came to the USA from Mexico illegally were just too lazy to go through the immigration process. Now I know better! It can take years to process the paperwork, and thousands of dollars. No wonder people sneak into the land of opportunity. My wife and I were determined to complete the process legally. Who wants to live like a fugitive? We had to put in our paperwork three times, because it kept getting lost. Finally, with the assistance of my Congressman we managed to get the process going. Even with their help, it took over 18 months. Herere some things to keep in mind thatll help make your journey easier. 1. If the person coming to the US has been caught illegally in the States then its an entirely different ball game. a. Call a lawyer and expect to spend a lot of time and money. b. From talking to several people in Ciudad Juarez, the US Government will let them in eventually. Expect to spend an additional six months to 10 years as punishment for the illegal entry to the US. 2. If either party has any kind of criminal record, see number one above. 3. For the rest of us, the operative phrase is follow up. Every time you communicate with the US Government do two things: a. Document (keep copies of everything). b. Follow up in two to three weeks; make them commit to giving you an update. Get names and times. 4. Do not be afraid to involve your elected officials. Every one told me that it would cause problems, but it actually made things easier. Without the intervention of my elected officials my wife would still be sitting in Mexico. Just be professional. 5. Follow directions and fill out each form completely, dont get ahead of them. Bureaucrats hate it when they cant call the shots. For instance, it took almost seven months to get two forms filled out when we were dealing with the Nation Visa Center (NVC). Both could have, and should have been filled out at the same time. 6. Do not procrastinate! No where in the immigration process will you find a complete explanation of the process. For example, out of the blue we were informed we needed a Mexican passport for my wife. Immediate action limited the delay caused by obtaining this document. In order to shed some light on this process, I have decided to document the journey my wife and I suffered through. Sadly, we were not alone. Almost everyone I talked to in Ciudad. Juarez had experienced separations of two years or more. Even applicants who followed directions and had no criminal liabilities had lengthy separations. In part two well discuss border crossings, immigration forms and starting the approval process. Part three will center on the delaying tactics of the National Visa Center. In part four we shed some light on what happens at the consulate. Please keep in mind this is based on first hand knowledge of the process, including the interview process at the US Consulate in Ciudad Juarez. Secure Publications, is a San Antonio Texas publishing company specializing in “How To” books and special reports designed to enhance our quality of life. Visit our site to get great kits to assist you with the US Immigration Process: http://www.securepublications.com/ mailto:rickparrott@sasecure.net Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rick_Parrott http://EzineArticles.com/?Immigration-Woes,-Part-One&id=154167 free experian credit report letterr template for negative entries existing on my credit report capital one t bad credit buyer nelson watson & associates what is average credit score in amwerica

By Shirley Peel At the end of the day, it’s so easy to do as little as possible about skin care - splash water on your face, brush your hair and brush your teeth - before going to bed. That is a nighttime regimen, but hardly a good one if you are planning to have clean, nourished skin. Too many women do not give their faces the proper attention before going to bed. Leaving make-up on overnight has consequences that are not good. Pores become clogged, and the skin tone turns dull and flat. If you can devise a nighttime routine that is easy, quick and relaxing, the appearance of your skin would improve 100-fold. Cleansing Cleansing the face before going to sleep is essential. Don’t make the mistake of paying more attention to putting on your makeup than you do to taking it off. With the array of facial soaps, gels, milks, and lotions that are on the market today, selecting a cleanser is just a matter of personal choice. Whatever you do choose, apply it with a clean, white washcloth dampened in warm water followed by an alcohol-free toner. A toner will remove any excess residue from the skin without taking away the moisture. Don’t confuse a toner or refresher with alcohol-containing astringents which are used mostly for problem skin that has a tendency to develop blemishes. It is best to remove eye makeup with a gentle product made specifically for that purpose. If the skin beneath the eyes is puffy, apply a cotton ball saturated with cold chamomile tea to the area. Chamomile is a natural soother which will help reduce any swelling. It should definitely be a part of your skin care routine. Moisturizing Apply a night cream. Night creams are not the same as day creams. Night creams for the skin contain higher concentrations of humectants which are ingredients that attract moisture from the air and hold it against the skin. Whereas day moisturizing creams are made to be used with makeup without interfering with it, night creams are intended to be used on skin that is free of makeup. It is formulated to be richer than day creams and work to your best advantage for the entire night. For the optimum benefit, mist the face with an atomizer since slightly damp skin absorbs moisturizers better than dry skin can. Restful, Relaxing Sleep A night of good, restful sleep is also an important part of overall skin care and the appearance of your skin. Many beauty and skin care companies advocate the use of aromatherapy for this purpose. Lavender, sandalwood, rose and geranium plant oils are said to relax and calm the brain. They are often used in bath products, oil lamps and candles. Other scents you might want to try for promoting relaxation include, chamomile, sage, orange, lemon grass and seaweed. Applying talcum powder enriched with plant and flower essences at bedtime can leave a soothing scent on your skin. Including these three skin care basics as part of your nightly beauty regimen — cleansing, moisturing, restful sleep –will without a doubt nourish and improve your skin and its appearance. About the Author: S.J. Peel, webmaster and author. Visit http://www.skincare-systems.com where you will find a complete information site about skin care. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shirley_Peel http://EzineArticles.com/?Nighttime-Skin-Care-Beauty-Routine—3-Bedtime-Essentials&id=264726 interpretating credit scores transunion credit reporting agency home online business credit report free debt consolidation help

By Greg Lucas The Royal Society of Medicine in Great Britain has stated that over 60 various health problems are caused by a toxic colon. It is estimated that the average person is walking around with over ten pounds of undigested food and fecal matter trapped in their bodies intestinal tract (colon). Just imagine how much healthier you would be if you could remove the foul matter from your colon. The thought of ten pounds of foul matter in my colon got me thinking how can I remove it and I bet at this point you are probably thinking the same thing? Well I did some research and found out about some simple things you can do to improve your bodies ability to remove the toxins naturally and also about an alternative medical treatment called a colon cleanser which improves your bodies ability to remove the toxins from your colon’ One of the first things to consider is how regular you are?, If you are able to eliminate your bodies waste on a daily basis that is a good sign that your intestinal tract is work right, if you are only able to eliminate a couple of times a week this could be a sign your intestines are blocked up which may in turn cause a build up of foul matter in your colon which over time may cause bloating, constipation, diarrhea, digestive problems, indigestion, and many other medical conditions. Other factors to consider is your diet and exercise, do you eat lots of high fiber foods?, if not then you body may not process the food correctly which in turn may allow a build up of toxins in your body. If your a couch potato that will also make it harder for your body to remove the foul matter from your intestines. Some of the easiest things you can do to improve your bodies ability to process correctly is to drink water and increase the amount of exercise you get, even just walking around the block a few times and drinking a glass or two of water will do wonders for your overall health including your colon. If you are already drinking lots of water and getting plenty of exercise and want to do more to remove the foul matter from your intestines you can have a colon cleansing treatment. It is by far the most effective way to remove the toxins from your colon There are hundreds of over the counter colon cleansers to choose from including many that are made of all natural herbs so you may wish to research which one is best for your needs and remember always discuss any concerns you have with your doctor before treatment begins. Greg Lucas is a small business owner and an on-line marketing expert who owns and operates a large network of informative and educational websites. for more information please visit:colon cleansers Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Greg_Lucas http://EzineArticles.com/?Do-You-Know-Whats-Inside-Your-Colon-&id=454869 address for major credit reporting bureaus where can i get my credit score free poor credit mortage programs to open small business with bad credit

By Sandy Sizemore Whether it is you or someone you love, knowing the facts about clinical depression symptoms can save lives. Today, more than 1/3 of people will face some type of depression episode in their lives. This number continues to grow. For those that are feeling this right now, knowing the signs of depression can ultimately help relief to finally come. Once clinical depression symptoms are evident, the proper anxiety and depression treatment can be administered, and soon, life can get back to normal. Those that are left without treatment will find themselves struggling and their condition can get worse. In many cases, clinical depression symptoms can lead to thoughts of suicide and even attempts at suicide. In that case, then, depression can be deadly. Here are some of the clinical depression symptoms that you should be aware of. Saddened mood, unexplained unhappiness. Loss of enthusiasm. Unexplained crying. A feeling of not wanting to do the things that you loved to do. Problems concentrating, feelings of being unable to focus on even simpler tasks. The feeling of being in slow motion. Fatigue, even if you sleep, you feel tired and worn out. Loss of energy goes right along with this. Insomnia can also prevail. You may tend to wake up very early or you may find yourself oversleeping and still not feeling as though you slept at all. Restlessness, feelings of needing to do things right now. Feelings of no hope, hopelessness, being pessimistic. Anxiety is something that many with depression face. The two conditions go hand in hand, sometimes, while in others they are separate conditions. Unexplained weight loss, or unexplained weight gain. Irritability, unfounded feelings of being angry, upset or frustrated. If you feel that you have some or all of these clinical depression symptoms, you should seek out the help of a professional. As we mentioned, the worst symptom of them all is the thoughts of suicide or even attempts at it. If you are in this place, or have a loved one in this place, it is essential that anxiety and depression treatment be sought as soon as possible. This is an indication that depression is severe. Often, depression medicines will be needed to pull out of this type of situation. These clinical depression symptoms can present themselves in various degrees of severity. For some, they may come and go. For others, there is just no way to shake them. Because depression is a life long illness, it is essential that anxiety and depression treatment be sought to lessen the frequencies of these symptoms. Additionally, with the right depression anxiety medications, or alternative treatments for depression, the clinical depression symptoms that are evident are not as harsh and can be eliminated all together. Sandy Sizemore writes on many consumer related topics including mental health. You can find clinical depression symptoms and depression anxiety medication and more by visiting our mental health website. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sandy_Sizemore http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Identify-And-Treat-Clinical-Depression&id=203062 houston bad credit new car loan debt consolidation & free credit repair services credit report for self and spouse credit score repair

By Teddy Shabba Many men in relationships might find themselves in situations similar to that of Kevin Spacey’s character Lester Burnham in American Beauty. Somewhere along the way after meeting a woman who you thought made you happy, you ended up making sacrifice after sacrifice. Now, you live day to day numb to reality because you have allowed it to take so much. Your only hope in life is for it all too just end and the sooner the better. In American Beauty Lester’s life was just that hopeless until his daughters friend gave him hope when he was eavesdropping on them and heard her say she would do him if he worked out a little and got in shape. Suddenly his life had some type of hope and that hope opened his eyes to what he had become and why. Everything he did was because of his wife with whom he no longer was even intimate with. In essence his life was based on nothing in order to please a wife he didn’t really have. In other words he was a man with nothing to lose. Many times a man gets involved in a relationship because the sex was good or she is the sexiest woman he has ever known. As time goes on the sex becomes less and less but the sacrifices become more and more. This generally happens to men who come from a position of weakness when it comes to women. These are the guys who don’t believe they know how to attract the type of women that they want, so when they find a woman that is close to what they want they settle for her and when she starts making demands and asks you to make sacrifices you do it, not because you want to but because you don’t want to lose what you have. Meanwhile, men who come from a position of strength generally don’t find themselves in these types of situations because if they are with a woman who demands or asks them to make a sacrifice that they don’t want to do; then they don’t do it and are prepared to walk if necessary. Most of the time he ends up not having to walk, however, on the occasion he does he knows that he can find another woman just as good. The good news for men who are in relationships, that are or are beginning to take their soul away is that they can be like Lester and reclaim your life. I don’t know if you realize it or not but hope is always there and with the proper coaching any man can become a man who knows how to attract the type of women you deserve. The only real question is when you will decide to make that change. Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men and creator of Dating Advice and Tips for Men which provides an abundance of information for men on dating and more. If you would like more information on how to attract, seduce and meet women sign up for the Teddy Shabba Dating Advice Newsletter for Men today. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Teddy_Shabba http://EzineArticles.com/?Learn-from-Lester-Burnham-of-American-Beauty-How-to-Regain-Control-of-Your-Life-In-A-Relationship&id=266475 phentermine 37.5 mg without prescription phentermine union pharmacy get phentermine online phentermine 37.5 no prescription overnight

By Philip Nicosia In life, two important things matter the most love and respect. Jesus, in the Bible, tells us to love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself. These are the most crucial of the ten commandments. True enough, they are admirable virtues in a person who aims to follow Gods way. If only people practice these traits every day, the world will be a much better place to live in. Love and respect usually go hand in hand. Although love including Christian love may have varied meanings, it generally entails respect, affection, good-will and concern for the well-being of the one you love. Respect also involves love and regard for the person dear to you. It means not having to trespass in his rights or putting a person down when he or she is wrong. This leads to the golden rule of Jesus which is to do unto others what you want others to do to you. If, for instance, you got furious over an incident and are tempted to say or do something unpleasant, ask yourself first if you would also want that said or done to you. We should, therefore, do our best to do good most of the time because the blessings we will receive will also be a thousandfold. If you know how to respect your loved ones and neighbors, you will earn respect from them in return. Respect is a true Christian value. It is needed in our society today what with rudeness in language and action as well as vulgarities so widespread among the young and the old alike. Even the church and its leaders are not spared from destructive and crude criticisms. But then, people must not lose hope as there are still those who take extra efforts to instill the value of respect in others. These efforts must continue to remind people that respecting others is truly an admirable trait. In the Bible, the foundation of respect can be traced to the creation of human beings by God. Humans were created in Gods image hence, they deserve to be treated with respect no matter how sinful they are. Respect means having a proper sense of regard for the needs of other people. Surely, if only all people know how to respect one another, then our society will be at its best. If only people show respect through their own will, then theres no need to pay somebody just to be kind and helpful, no need to shout to make others listen to us and people will just pay attention. Good manners and right conduct should be the bottom line. They are vital in social interaction and promote the habit of attentiveness. Courtesy like simply saying thank you, excuse me and good morning are already a good start. Parents should never tire of teaching their growing children the value of respect. After all, they are the first teachers and are responsible for showing good examples to their kids. A home where members of the family live in harmony and respect will definitely nurture responsible children who know how to give regard to others. Apart from being good role models, parents should never forget to seek the aid of the Bible that teaches habits and attitudes crucial in showing respect towards others regardless of their age, race and status in life. Podcastblaster is a site specializing in all aspect of podcasting and provides an extensive podcast directory covering many topics including Christianity podcasts. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Philip_Nicosia http://EzineArticles.com/?Respect-Begets-Respect&id=501076 direct pharmacy phentermine cheap phentermine no prescription free shipping buy phentermine online free shipping buy phentermine site

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Farzina_Naznin] Farzina Naznin Pediatric is basically a branch of medicines which is only meant for the children from the birth to the stage of adolescence. Thus pediatric is not meant for the adults. The word pediatric is generated from the Greek words paidi and iatros. Here paidi, generally means a boy and iatros, refers to a doctor. Thus from this terminology pediatric means a doctor which is generally meant for the treatment of a young boy. This branch of medicine is only meant for a specified age group which might start approximately when a baby is born till the completion of the adolescence stage, based on their psychological and physiological concepts. Pediatricians deal with various problems of the children. For example, there are pediatricians who only deal with the dental health of the children. Moreover there are also pediatric cardiologists who generally deal with the cardiac or the heart conditions of the children. In the same way for dealing with cancer like leukemia in small children, there are pediatric oncologists. Thus it can be estimated in this context that there are pediatricians and pediatric medicines which are solely meant for the children from birth to the stage of adolescence. In the field of pediatrics, there are also pediatric nurses who are meant for taking care of the infants, the children and the adolescence. It is to be noted out here that the pediatric nurses are generally trained in the field of taking care of young patients and in assisting the doctors in their work. Pediatric generally means taking intensive care and attention of the young patients. As the young patients are generally found to be afraid and scared of certain treatments, pediatricians in different field thus helps in providing self help and confidence in the young patients. Pediatrics also involves surgical operations. But this form of surgery generally varies from the type of surgery which is meant for the adults. Pediatric surgeons perform the pediatric surgery in the hospitals which are generally meant for the children. The important concept which is worth mentioning in respect of pediatric treatment is that as the young children are not capable of making any decision, thus the decision related to the treatment of the young patients by the pediatricians should get the confirmation of the young patients guardians regarding the type of treatment and surgery meted out to the young patients. Farzina Naznin, as a writer is basically associated with various sites like [http://www.carehealthonline.net/] http://www.carehealthonline.net/ and [http://www.betterhealthworld.org/] http://www.betterhealthworld.org/ for writing articles on children’s health. Comments if any are most welcome at [mailto:farnaznin@gmail.com] farnaznin@gmail.com Article Source: [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Farzina_Naznin ] http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Farzina_Naznin [http://ezinearticles.com/?Pediatric:-Treatment-Meant-for-Young-Children&id=266638 ] http://EzineArticles.com/?Pediatric:-Treatment-Meant-for-Young-Children&id=266638 phentermine without prescription mastercard buy phentermine using mastercard sisters pharmacy phentermine order phentermine with no prescription

By Helene Rothschild “I should have listened to her. Beverly was trying to tell me how unhappy she was but I wouldn’t hear her. Now she is gone, and I miss her so much,” Allen said, as his body shook with sobs of grief. Allen felt devastated since his wife left him three months ago. He was depressed and losing weight-he had no appetite. “I’m afraid I’m going to lose my job because I can’t concentrate. Getting up in the morning is so difficult. Nothing matters anymore,” Allen expressed with despondence. Then he put his head in his hands as he cried some more. Suddenly he lifted his head up as he yelled out, “Why didn’t I listen? I was so stupid! I pride myself on being Allen, the intelligent executive. Allen, the one everyone can rely on to solve problems and to help the company be successful. The truth is that I’m Allen, the big failure. I couldn’t make my own marriage succeed. I lost the only woman I have ever loved. I hate myself. I feel so hopeless.” Francine, another client whose marriage also broke up, said with tears in her eyes, “Why didn’t I listen to Ron? He tried to talk to me. He wanted to tell me what was bothering him but I wouldn’t take the time to hear him. I made the excuses that I was too busy with dinner, or the children, or had a PTA meeting to go to. What a fool I was. Ron has left me for another woman. I feel so hurt and so angry at myself.” Clyde and Roberta were clients who also learned the hard way about the danger of not listening. They came to see me because their teenage daughter, Lisa, tried to commit suicide. She was still in the hospital recovering from an overdose of drugs. Their doctor had recommended that they see a counselor. The upset parents shuddered as they related their story to me, and admitted that Lisa had tried to tell them numerous times how unhappy she was. Both Clyde and Roberta unfortunately were too busy working, doing chores, or attending charitable organizational meetings, to take the time to heed her warnings. They had erroneously made the decision that Lisa was just going through normal teenage growing up problems and thought that they would pass. Clyde and Roberta had learned a very important lesson about listening. They were going to be sure to pay attention to what Lisa and their other children were telling them. These case studies are just examples of the many clients who did not know how to listen. I shared with them the following helpful hints so that they could really hear what others are telling them. 1. Be clear that you are okay no matter what people say so that you can be objective. 2. Understand that people are responsible (and not you) for how they think and feel. 3.Make an agreement with the other person as to the specific time you will listen to them when you will be rested and alert. 4. Find a quiet place where you will not be distracted. 5. Make sure that you will not be interrupted by phone calls, radio, or television programs. 6. Tell them that you really want to hear them, and that you appreciate their sharing with you. 7. Clear your mind, and be totally present and objective as you listen to what they are trying to tell you. 8. Let them know that you are listening by making eye contact, nodding your head, saying, “Uh huh,” or “I hear you.” 9. Avoid thinking about what you want to answer, judging, trying to rescue them, or solve their problems. 10. To make sure that you heard them, tell them in your own words, “I heard you say. . . .” 11. If you need clarity, ask them for more information by saying, “What do you mean?” or “How do you feel?” (Avoid “Why” questions because that word indicates that they have to justify themselves.) 12. Listen to their body language so that you can hear their truth. For example, if their hands are making a fist, they are probably feeling angry even if they deny it. 13. Ask them, “How can I help you?” or “What would you like from me right now?” 14. Reassure them that their feelings are valid even if they seem irrational. 15. Express your compassion and let them know if you feel the same way sometimes. 16. If there are problems to be resolved, ask them if they want you to help them find win-win solutions. 17. Thank them for trusting you and for being willing to share their thoughts and feelings. 18. Schedule another time when you can be there for them. If you take the time to listen to the people in your life, you can avoid many hardships, and you will be greatly rewarded. Enjoy healthy relationships by hearing others, and of course, by asking others to listen to you. Be able to say yes to the question, “Are you listening?” Copyright 2006 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, author, and speaker. 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